Humans are a complex mix of thoughts, emotions and behaviour. Thoughts impact on emotions and vice versa. Both thoughts and feelings can cause us to do things in a certain way, good or bad. But the reverse is also true - if we act in a certain way, we can start to think in line with the way we are acting. For example, if we walk fast, as if we are on our way to an important and pleasurable event, our thoughts will reflect this attitude.
It is very powerful, then, to use this knowledge to steer ourselves to where we want to be, using our thoughts, feelings and actions to help us achieve our dreams. Regardless of our present situation, we can decide where and maybe more importantly, who we want to be. Our thoughts and feelings can help us imagine our ideal lifestyles and our ideal selves. We need to visualize vividly, which will create and reinforce a strong desire that will spur us on in our day to day tasks, many of which will be mundane.
We owe ourselves the time every day to 'live our dream' in our imaginations, vividly, with colour, sound and emotion, as if what we wanted were already true. Take the time now to see yourself looking like the ideal picture you have of yourself, vibrant, attractive. See yourself doing the things you enjoy doing, both socially and at work, in the company of friends and colleagues who respect you and enjoy spending time with you, doing fun and meaningful activities. Your career is flying and you are getting even better at it every day. Experience the feelings of self-confidence and happiness, fulfilment, joy and laughter that this life is giving you.
While you are on this emotional high, create a physical switch that you can associate with this state of mind. (Condition yourself!) For example, snap your fingers or touch your ear, or .... Practise this often, at least once a day, at the same time as your vizualisation to reinforce your dream, your belief, your desire and your intent.
Keep your dream alive, remember that you are not your past, you are your potential. Be the best you can be!
Wednesday 30 December 2009
Tuesday 29 December 2009
Learn to Think About Your Habits
Down the years, I have taken many a course in psychology, organisational behaviour, management etc, and from my experience I suspect that few students in these disciplines ever learn the real life applications of the theory they read in their text books.
A good example is that while we are learning all about the theory of conditioning etc etc, we can be practicing the bad habits of procrastination and instant gratification... forms of conditioning destructive enough to undermine ambitions, relationships and ultimately lead to depression and mental breakdown... without realising that what we are doing is teaching Pavlov's dogs (ourselves) to eat poison at the sound of the bell.
Do a little research into the relationship between these two habits on the one hand, and underachievement, frustration and depression on the other hand. Then take the trouble to think through your habitual patterns of thought and behaviour; and to change them. It will change your life!
A good example is that while we are learning all about the theory of conditioning etc etc, we can be practicing the bad habits of procrastination and instant gratification... forms of conditioning destructive enough to undermine ambitions, relationships and ultimately lead to depression and mental breakdown... without realising that what we are doing is teaching Pavlov's dogs (ourselves) to eat poison at the sound of the bell.
Do a little research into the relationship between these two habits on the one hand, and underachievement, frustration and depression on the other hand. Then take the trouble to think through your habitual patterns of thought and behaviour; and to change them. It will change your life!
Spiritual Depression
I'm currently reading "Spiritual Depression Its Causes and Cure" by D Martyn Lloyd Jones.
In the first chapter he speaks about the fact that there are large numbers of Christian people whose "souls are cast down and disquieted within them" (Ps 42:5,11). An important reason why we must face this problem, he says, is that "in a sense a depressed Christian is a contradiction in terms, and is a very poor recommendation for the gospel".
Ouch!
Of course we are painfully aware of this, and it is one reason that depression is so hard for us to speak about.
Lloyd-Jones describes depression in the terms of the psalm, an extraordinarily accurate picture. He talks about the causes, among which he lists temperament, physical conditions, the devil and finally, he says:
"the ultimate cause of all spiritual depression is unbelief. For if it were not for unbelief even the devil could do nothing. It is because we listen to the devil instead of listening to God that we go down before him and fall before his attacks. That is why the psalmist keeps on saying to himself: 'Hope thou in God for I shall yet praise Him...' He reminds himself of God. Why? Because he was depressed and had forgotten God so that his faith and his relationship with God were not what they ought to be."
Ouch again!
Do not despair however... he also says "We belong to the same company as Jeremiah, and John the Baptist and Paul and Luther and many other. A great company! Yes, but you cannot belong to it without being unusually subject to this particular type of trial."
And a brief, first chapter look at the cure:
"...the first thing we have to learn is what the Psalmist learned - we must learn to take ourselves in hand. This man was not content just to lie down and commiserate with himself. He does something about it, he takes himself in hand. But he does something which is more important still, that is he talks to himself... we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing 'ourselves' to talk to us! Do you realise what that means? I suggest that the main trouble in this whole matter of spiritual depression in a sense is this, that we allow our self to talk to us instead of talking to our self. Am I just trying to be deliberately paradoxical? Far from it. This is the very essence of wisdom in this matter. Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them, but they start talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you. Now this man's treatment was this; instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. 'Why art thou cast down, 0 my soul?' he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he stands up and says: 'Self, listen for a moment, I will speak to you'.
The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself. You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. You must say to your soul: 'Why art thou cast down'- what business have you to be disquieted? You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself: 'Hope thou in God' - instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged Himself to do. Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: 'I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God'. That is the essence of the treatment in a nutshell. As we proceed With our consideration of this subject we can but elaborate that. The essence of this matter is to understand that,this self of ours, this other man within us, has got to be handled. Do not listen to him; turn on him; speak to him; condemn him; upbraid him; exhort him; encourage him; remind him of what you know, instead of listening placidly to him and allowing him to drag you down and depress you. For that is what he will always do if you allow him to be in control. The devil takes hold of self and uses it in order to depress us. We must stand up as this man did and say: 'Why art thou cast down? Why art thou disquieted within me?' Stop being so! 'Hope thou in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance,' He, 'who is the health of my countenance and my God.' "
As someone who has suffered from “this particular type of trial”, I have studied many contemporary works of psychology, in search of “the cure”. I remain convinced that the Bible remains the greatest guide to living life well ever written. Unfortunately, while we have become a highly educated generation, we have lost much of our ability to draw on its profound wisdom. At first glance it seems to me that Lloyd Jones has done a wonderful job of unpacking that wisdom for us.
I will be reading the rest of the book with interest and a book review is on its way.
What Milk Have You Spilled?
One of our favorite stories is about a famous research scientist who
had made several very important medical breakthroughs.
He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked
him why he thought he was able to succeed so much more than
the average person, to be so much more creative than the average
person? In other words, what set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from a lesson his
mother taught him when he was two years old. He’d been trying to
take a bottle of milk out of the refrigerator, when he lost his grip and
spilled the entire contents on the kitchen floor. His mother, instead
of scolding him, said, “What a wonderful mess you’ve made! I’ve
rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage is already
done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk before we
clean it up?”
Indeed, he did. And, after a few minutes, his mother continued,
“You know, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have
to clean it up. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a
towel, sponge or mop. Which do you prefer?”
After they were finished cleaning up the milk, she said, “What we
have here is a failed experiment in how to carry a big bottle of milk
with two tiny hands. Let’s go out in the backyard, fill the bottle with
water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping
it.” And they did.
What a wonderful lesson!
The scientist then remarked it was at that moment he knew he
didn’t have to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that
mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new — which
after all, is what scientific experiments are all about.
That bottle of spilled milk led to a lifetime of learning experiences
— experiences that were the building blocks of a lifetime of world renowned
successes and medical breakthroughs!
From The Success Principles
Your 30-day journey from where you are to where you want to be
by Jack Canfield AND Janet Switzer
had made several very important medical breakthroughs.
He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked
him why he thought he was able to succeed so much more than
the average person, to be so much more creative than the average
person? In other words, what set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from a lesson his
mother taught him when he was two years old. He’d been trying to
take a bottle of milk out of the refrigerator, when he lost his grip and
spilled the entire contents on the kitchen floor. His mother, instead
of scolding him, said, “What a wonderful mess you’ve made! I’ve
rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage is already
done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk before we
clean it up?”
Indeed, he did. And, after a few minutes, his mother continued,
“You know, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have
to clean it up. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a
towel, sponge or mop. Which do you prefer?”
After they were finished cleaning up the milk, she said, “What we
have here is a failed experiment in how to carry a big bottle of milk
with two tiny hands. Let’s go out in the backyard, fill the bottle with
water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping
it.” And they did.
What a wonderful lesson!
The scientist then remarked it was at that moment he knew he
didn’t have to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that
mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new — which
after all, is what scientific experiments are all about.
That bottle of spilled milk led to a lifetime of learning experiences
— experiences that were the building blocks of a lifetime of world renowned
successes and medical breakthroughs!
From The Success Principles
Your 30-day journey from where you are to where you want to be
by Jack Canfield AND Janet Switzer
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